As you go about your day, there are little pockets of time that I like to call “social moments”. They’re usually a couple of seconds long, where you have the ability to make contact with and communicate with a random stranger.
I first noticed this when I was living in the CBD in Sydney – I’d hop in an elevator, and usually there would be other people heading up too or getting in. There would be this quick, momentary fraction of time where brief eye contact would be made and words could be exchanged. So I started experimenting. At night I’d always ask “how was your day”. During the day, it was almost always “great/awful weather isn’t it” (yes, I realise how tacky that is).
Interesting things started happening. People would smile, make a comment back, and smalltalk would be made. Once smalltalk begins, the social skills you develop through studying pickup kick in. You can lead the conversation in several directions, from just being social, to flirting, to going off into a conversation about something you have in common.
How does this apply to meeting girls?
Well, think about what an AI (approach invitation) is. It’s a momentary glance or smile or body repositioning from a girl in your vicinity – something most commonly seen when you’re out doing daygame and a girl walks past you and smiles. This is a “social moment”. AIs are a subset of social moments, and usually last more than a fraction of a second. Though if you’re externally focused, and “in state”, AIs can last much longer.
The application part of this is pretty straightforward – when you’re entering the presence of a person or a group of people you don’t know, watch for the flicker of eye contact or recognition in their body language, then open your mouth and talk. Or at the very least smile. You’ll be pleasantly surprised with what happens.
Are there cultural differences with this? Yes, most definitely. In certain parts of Asia where people are less outgoing and less social in general, you’ll receive fewer responses, or maybe just a small smile to anything you say. Just remember that it’s them being shy, it has nothing to do with you.
Some pointers:
- It really helps to make eye contact before you say anything.
- Be sure to speak loud enough that the other person hears you.
- Be aware of just how much people around you send most of their time internally focused, thinking and playing out thoughts in their heads. The people that will give the best reactions are those who are externally focused (which you should also be).
Alex Flair and I had some fun with this in Sweden when heading home on the T-Bana at 5 in the morning… as we ascended out of the station on the escalator, a cute Asian girl stood behind us. Alex suggested I open, so… I turned around, smiled, made eye contact, and said “How was your night?” and off we went. She ended up coming back to our apartment and hanging out for an hour or so. We suspected that she wanted a spitroast… so we had to let her go 
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