Today was mostly spent in recovery from the night before.
I had a long talk with Dr Yen in the morning about the events of the night, plus a lot about my journey through Rockstar. He also shared his thoughts on his own life and where things have taken him.
I had dinner in the evening with my friend J from New Zealand – it’s been a while since I caught up with him, and it’s always great to catchup with old friends and people you’ve met as you’ve travelled around the world. We talked about life, business, game and a bunch of other stuff.
I’ve come to some realisations about the way that I live my life and about myself as human being. Here are some of those thoughts~
- Having the reference experiences of seeing good subcommunications (just hangout with Vercetti), and then believing that you have good subcommunications aligns your body and posture to actually *have* good subcommunications.
- The value of variety. I am starting to think that there is some wisdom in having different types of people in your life. An age-old concept is the idea of a mastermind – a group of likeminded people who you hang around to enrich your life. This goes with the idea that you are the average of the five people closest to you. Mr M and Braddock call this the Navy Seals concept.
I think however, that there is a paradox here. Let me explain. Dr Yen brought back to Rockstar West a girl from Torture Gardens last night. She is 35 and beautiful, but from speaking with her while we were all hanging out at Rockstar West and over the 5pm breakfast we all had, there is nothing in the “value” aspect of her life. This is not to demean her as a person, but it just goes against the grain of normal societal development that someone at her age and position in life, should have a more set path, or at least some form of direction.
But speaking as someone whose life has an extreme amount of direction and purpose, I think that there is something there that I could appreciate, and that there *is* some sort of value in having people who are what I would consider wild, or crazy, or disorganised, or simply *different* from the usual people I hang out with in my life. They have a different sort of energy about them, and it adds variety, it gives me perspective, and it allows me to appreciate the different aspects of life more.
Some more examples would probably work here. Dr Yen was talking about how he has a plan to visit the top fifty diving spots around the world, because it is something that he simply enjoys. This is something I would never have considered before. Micha mentioned somewhere the times in his life where he just went out with his friends from his hometown and had fun – for days on end. This is something that I never experienced in my own life. The girl that Yen brought back mentioned something about spending time travelling and just hanging out with friends playing guitar for weeks at a time. These are all experiences that I would never consider an “efficient” use of time, and would probably never consider in my everyday logical train of thought. But the fact that they provoke an emotional reaction within me, tells me that there is value there. And that there is therefore value in having people with a different perspective and way of living life around me. And I don’t even really like to use the word “value” – perhaps a better way of describing it, is that both my life and these other people’s are enriched by there being some form of relationship between us. - People are fucked up. I’m starting to accept this idea more and more now. Everyone. Is. Fucked. Up. Including me. We are all just fucked up in different ways.
- Finding the one thing about someone that makes them amazing. This is something that Paladin (http://www.organicseduction.com/) said to me. And I have been trying to find it truer and truer in my own life – only now am I starting to see how this can dramatically improve my relationships with others and my social skills in general.
- Happiness is a myth. This one is deep. And it’s something that I realised while I was talking with my friend J. I realised that I’ve been living my life for the past year or so in what I perceive as happiness – but it’s not true happiness. It’s more like an elevated baseline state with no highs or lows. This is similar to the way that Mr M describes his everyday life. We were discussing what true happiness actually is, and this is what we came up with. True happiness, is living a simple life, like that of a monk, in seclusion. That is one expression, and one that I have considered for myself a number of times. It could also be the path that Eckhart Tolle took for a period of time, which was being homeless and just enjoying his days wandering from park bench to park bench. The third alternative is a little more macabre – it is death itself. I am starting to believe that people who do anything in their lives – whether it’s Eckhart Tolle teaching spirituality now, or myself pursuing my business goals and passions, do it from a place where there is not 100% happiness in our lives. There is something that we feel is missing, or incomplete, or just not right with our lives and the world. For if we were fully 100% happy, then there would be no further need to do anything. For me, this single realisation is *huge*. It is the first step I believe in self-acceptance of who I currently am – and surprisingly, I am fine with it. Accepting and realising this is the first step towards evolving to the next level.
- Life is full of paradoxes. Concepts from David Deida or RSD like “your path and purpose is more important than any relationships in your life” are great in theory. And I tried to subscribe to them for a while – but it’s hard. Especially when my path and purpose involves relating to others. This creates a paradox – I have the choice to believe in either belief at different times. This is difficult especially if your brain is wired to be logical the way that mine is. But being able to think in and live with paradoxes is a skill. It is a type of neural net, and one that I need to train more.
Sticking Points
Outer Game
- Verbal Game – attraction. Teasing and Sexual talk neural net training. Practice attraction via scenarios. Practice asshole game via scenarios and in-field.
- Verbal Game – vibing, qualification. Practice via scenarios.
- Verbal Game – sexual hoops (including SOIs). Finish going over Mr M’s talk, list them out, use them in both off-field and in-field.
- Logistical Escalation. Practice in-field.
- Physical Escalation. Practice in-field.
- Takeaways. Practice in-field.
- Delivery. Practice in-field.
Inner Game
- Logistical Escalation. Practice in-field.
- Identity & Beliefs. I am starting to understand more that all people (including me) are fucked up, and that we all have some parts of our lives that are amazing, and that we are able to contribute to others. Adopting the belief of “I may fuck this up, but let’s joust.” Realising that you only need to score 30/100 to pick up. No need to aim for 92/100. Realising that acceptance is contextual, and that I don’t really need to care about others’ acceptance of me, and that it’s more about my acceptance of them for who they are. Killing the belief of “if people don’t accept me, fuck them.”
- Capitalising on reads in real-time (this is a behaviour-level change). Needs more exploration. Still not automatically doing this in set.
- Boundary function.
- Self-image. Frustration as something I have overcome and will continue to push through. Realising that there’s nothing wrong with me, and that my greatest strengths are also my greatest weaknesses. I have completed more work on warmth and connection – and understanding that people are fucked up will help with this. Realising that my baseline state is nothingness and just relating with others, and that there is nothing wrong with living a life that is not 100% happiness. Seeing self as having fun when going out, and being someone who enhances the social situation. Creating the social instigator part in myself. The Alex Lesson.
- Behaviour. Learning to present different parts of me to different people. Learning to wield emotions via logic. Listening to the weird shit others say and trying it, without judgement.
- Emotional Management. Letting loose on emotional block points. Revelling in darkness and dominance, and the ability to play with my own and others’ minds. Ingrain idea that opening up emotionally will give me an enhanced ability to access the social sphere.
- Capabilities. Ability to see primal parts in others. Ability to recognise that in some areas of my life I need others to help me grow.
- Intent. Push more on this.
- whim
