Lessons from Improv and bit of SCM

I’ve been taking improv classes here in SF recently.

The original reason I signed up for classes was that coming out of Rockstar I realised that my ability to generate teases and make random, meaningless conversation was pretty bad. I’ve been working on it through some game-related techniques that Mr M and Dahunter came up with, but I’d heard improv suggested as a way to basically learn to pull stuff out of thin air, so I thought I’d give it a spin.

After two 3-hour classes (with a bunch more to go), here’s what I’ve learnt, and how I can see it relating to pickup.

• Improv games and state. Improv games are the best “state builder” and the ultimate way to make sure you’re in the moment, bar none. In two classes I’ve already learnt close to 20 different games, and they all involve generating material on-the-fly, usually while taking up physical and auditory space. Great for getting into state, and less weird than running around the club half-naked making animal noises.
• There is no preparation. Going into an improv “performance”, the natural tendency is to have in mind some sort of outcome or progression for the act about to unfold. Part of improv class is retraining your brain to resist this temptation and to go in without preparation. This after all, is the basis of improvisation. Applied to pickup, this would be the mindset of “OK, I’ve spent time learning and practicing and understand at a conscious and unconscious level what I need to do. Now I just need to go in with no preparation and do it.” Great mindset to have.
• The power of the stage. On stage, you are in character – anything is possible. Your character can do things that we “cannot” in the “real world”. The character can fuck up, can make mistakes, can talk about leather whips and whipped cream, can pretend he’s a girl or that she’s a guy. The character can do anything. This is a way to capture an experience of social freedom that most people cannot do in the “real world”. It creates realistic reference experiences that can be carried over into normal social interactions – it varies your normal everyday range of social behaviour.
• Deep breath is a line of dialogue that the audience writes. I saw this demonstrated in class the other day and it was pure awesomeness. Whenever someone says something and you don’t want to respond – you don’t have to. You just take a deep breath and let the statement sit. People watching will create a dialogue in their own minds. I see this being very applicable to pickup… the person you are talking to fills in your silence for you.
• Statements over questions. My improv instructor told us that amongst his pet peeves are improvisers who only use questions – this places the onus of the performance on the other people on-stage. The funny thing is that he also said “you know, in normal social interactions you can get away with asking questions, but it improv you can’t.” I found that kind of ironic given the standard Community advice of statements over questions.
• Your presence is an offer. In improv, this means that everything you do – your walk, your body language, your simple presence on stage is an offer that other improvisers can use to act on. In pickup, this means that your subcommunications are putting out all sorts of messages that people can choose to respond to. Sure, in the social world people are not incentivised the way they are on an improv stage to interact with you, but it is important nonetheless.
• Yes, and. I remember reading in a couple of places the power of “yes, and” in social interactions. Honestly, I am starting to think that its power is overrated. The problem with “yes, and” applied to pickup is that it lets the other person heavily influence the frame. You have to implicitly (or explicitly) agree to what they say, and carry it forward. It also reeks of trying for rapport. I can see it being used in a couple of different ways. If you say something, then turn to the girl with an expectation of a response and start her off with “this is the part where you say yes, and…” then she has to accept your statement and frame. A more useful structure to use for yourself, would be “yes, reframe” – negating her offer or statement and flipping it around to a meaning that you want.
• Improv games for attraction and comfort. If you have compliance early on then you can throw in an improv game to build attraction – I suggest something like the one-word-story, the bang game, or the give-and-receive gifts game. I can also see how improv can be used for killer amounts of comfort, because to play them you are essentially forced to go into rapport with the other person at a physiological level.

In addition to learning about improv, I’ve been applying some of the SCM principles I learnt during Rockstar. Here are some initial thoughts about how SCM works in an environment such as an improv class.

• Make yourself stand out in some way. Whether it’s through extraordinary skill in the task at hand, remembering everyone’s name, or dressing a cut above everyone else, standing out is good. It makes people remember you.
• 1-on-1 time. Climbing a social tree (or building one) is all about face time. Have little snippets of conversation with everyone individually, remember things about them and bring them up as callback in conversation later on.
• No material. Don’t use Community material. Tease for sure and be playful, but mostly just be a cool, chill guy.
• Alignment. Aligning with the instructor and TA gives you an edge of authority.
• Timing. I’m finding that I don’t really get this yet but I feel that it’s important. Before class, during breaks, after short exercises and after class are probably the best times to build rapport and connections with people. It feels to me that the interactions during these times are forced, but that’s probably just how it’s going to be. Using situational comments to start conversations, like “so how’s your week been?” or cold reads like “you look like a Bay Area girl.”
• Adopting stage personalities. I think it was Mystery or someone who said that an actor has the ability to adopt the identity of whoever he portrays or screen. It works the same way in certain classes, like improv. Whatever roles you choose to portray on stage carry over into the real world and in that particular social circle, even though people know they are simply part of the show.
• Contact closes. I am thinking facebook is the best, safest initial route early on in class. Numbers and inviting people out to events (especially if you’re inviting specific people rather than the entire class) must come later with more deep and wide rapport.

- whim

Tagged as: attraction, comedy, dahunter, humor, humour, improv, mr m, mystery, social circle mastery, teasing